Girls' Night Out … With Your Guy?

By Kathleen Jacobs for Lifetimetv.com

Is there anything better than spending downtime with your best girlfriends, chatting, shopping, cooking and more chatting? Yup. Doing the same with your man. Sharing activities that you enjoy helps you get closer, says Karen Sherman, Ph.D., and author of "Marriage Magic." But sometimes that's easier said than done. You can't just immediately dive into "full-on-girly" things together, advises Tina Tessina, Ph.D., and author of "How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free." Slowly introduce him to the things that may initially freak him out. In order for him to appreciate getting his nails buffed at the salon, you might want to ease him into the spa experience with a massage at home. Read on for more ideas on showing him how girls just want to have fun.

Watch a chick flick
If you've had enough of his favorite action films packed with high-speed car chases and rapid gunfire, set aside some screening time for a romantic comedy in which a man fights to keep the woman he loves. "These movies are actually heroic films, and men appreciate that," says Maria Grace, Ph.D., and author of "Reel Fulfillment: A 12-Step Plan for Transforming Your Life Through Movies." Although your guy may put up a stink at first, he'll ultimately relate to the male characters -- especially since they get the girl in the end. Good rentals to start with: "The Wedding Singer," "40-Year-Old Virgin," "Singles" and "Say Anything." "These movies bring up a lot of relationship issues and really validate what is meant by true love," she says. "We all know women would rather have a man listen to them than buy them diamond earrings." And these so-called chick flicks repeat this message loud and clear.

Share a nosh
Getting him into the kitchen can be difficult, but it's worth it. "The whole idea of cooking together is to work on a common goal," says Maria Liberati, author of "The Basic Art of Italian Cooking." Make it easier on him (and you) by changing into some comfy clothes; that way, you won't fret about spills. Set a fun mood by blasting some upbeat music. Liberati suggests trying a simple but tasty pasta dish, such as linguine with clams, or one of his other faves. "Use the freshest ingredients you can find," she says. "Food should be a treat for the senses. Opening up a box of mac and cheese will not provide the same experience." Give your co-chef tasks that he can get into, like chopping up veggies or grating cheese. Intimidated by the stove? Skip ahead to dessert and serve vanilla ice cream. Have him drizzle on some Limoncello, an Italian liqueur, on top. Congratulate each other on your teamwork as you trade bites.

Grab a drink and gab... at home
Having cocktails with the gals isn't actually about the drink-ini itself. It's about the talking -- and listening. Want to lure him into conversation? Kick-start the dialogue with a topic that excites both of you while you prepare a glass of something out of the ordinary. Try a Tinteretto, suggests Liberati. Mix 1/3 cup chilled pomegranate juice with 2/3 cup Prosecco (Italian sparkling wine), and stir gently so you don't make too much foam. Serve in champagne flutes. This is sure to put you in a relaxing mood, and maybe he'll open up or let his sillier side show -- just like your girlfriends do.

Catch a craft fair
Is you-know-who mall-phobic? Then you know he's never going to get pumped up for marathon shopping or bargain hunting. You'll have to try a different tack, like a craft fair. From handmade furniture to the ubiquitous chess sets, there are lots of examples of craftsmanship your guy can appreciate here. This type of "shopping" is great because he doesn't have to sit on his duff watching you try on outfit after outfit, adds Dr. Sherman. And walking around outdoors should appeal to his action-oriented side.

Mosey through a museum
If his typical weekend afternoon involves sitting in front of the TV or catching the game, you'll want to be careful about choosing which art exhibit to visit. "Don't start with the abstract stuff -- start with nudes," says Dr. Tessina. "Or find a museum that has more artifacts or tools." The key, she says, is to find objects that peak his interest. "You'll get more out of it if you ask him what he thinks, even though you may be dying to talk about how you feel," adds Tessina. And when he looks like he's had enough, call it a day. "When you're taking someone out of their usual arena, you have to introduce him to these activities in small doses," she says.

Paw over old pics
Talking about special moments with your friends -- like the crazy night you all danced on the bar in Cancun on spring break -- can be a blast. Guys aren't always so nostalgic, unless they're talking about touchdowns, home runs and three-pointers. The solution? Get out the visual cues, aka photo albums (or even videos), to relive the romance and the fun. "The reminiscing, the sharing of stories, is going to bring back memories of your connection and bring on that warm, fuzzy feeling," says Sherman. It could be just the thing to remind you of what brought you together -- which should come in handy the next time you hit a rough patch in your relationship.

Remember, the key to having a good "girly" time with your guy is to keep in mind that he isn't going to flip over all the things you relish. "Not everything is meant to be shared," says Robin Gorman Newman, author of "How to Marry a Mensch." Besides, it would be boring if you both liked the same things, so it's important to be able to appreciate the other person's interests and passions. And who knows? Maybe in exchange for watching an action flick, he'll agree to a spa vacation!